Would you like to be more popular?
We sometimes think that if we make ourselves more interesting, that we can make people more interested in us, and therefore we can “get more friends.” BUT…the secret is not to be an interesting person…isn’t that strange? You see interesting people are too busy being interesting. They are too focused on themselves and concentrating too hard on grabbing attention and admiration.
Just think about it…would you rather talk on the phone with someone who spends the whole conversation talking about himself or someone who shows interest in what is important to you? Would you rather have dinner with someone who is putting on a show for everyone around while ignoring you, or someone who wants to learn more about something you know well? Would you rather hang out with someone who spends the day letting you know how important he or she is, or with someone who spends the day letting you know how important YOU are?
The real trick is not to be interesting, but to be interested in others. Become interested in others.
Talk with them about something they know well that you would like to learn more about. Ask questions about their lives, and become interested in something that is important to them. Notice what is important to another person. Notice what makes another person happy or sad.
When you are interested in others, they love it. They love it that you are interested in them and they want to be around you. You are popular.
Also, to focus on others is a great stress reliever…
If you are feeling down or blue, do something nice for someone else. Pick them a flower, or write them a nice note. Do one of their chores, or just give them an extra smile or kind word. Notice your stress level or your depressed mood fade.
Find things about people that interest you. Force yourself to look for interesting things. Soon you will automatically take interest in people without thinking about it.
If you catch yourself acting like someone else, you are being interesting. Simply get interested in the person in front of you and you’ll feel more natural. You are most effective when you are simply being yourself.
When someone makes you nervous or you feel shy, get interested in them. Take your attention off of your nervousness and place it on to others. With practice, you will be calm, even bold.
Focus on how you can help others. Your stress level will be reduced and your effectiveness and popularity will soar.